Many children are victim of verbal abuse hurled at them in various parts of the world. The pain incurred from poisonous words can be very damaging to a child’s psychology. Parents are often responsible for venting out their frustrations at their kids. Perhaps, you are not realizing it but kids are well, kids. They do not understand what sort of stress you are facing in your professional arena or other social interactions. It’s quite easy to let out your irritation at your kids but imagine what sort of psychological damage you are inflicting on your kids. Children start losing confidence and develop inferiority complex.

Losing self-esteem is another downside of this verbal onslaught. Some children simply develop shyness and feel inhibited for the rest of their lives. Negative self image is another major side-effect of your verbal assault. Some of the common feelings experienced by child are, ‘I am always wrong’, ‘nobody loves me’, ‘I am fit for nothing’ etc. would you really prefer your child to be withdrawn and depressed for no fault of his? It is not hard to find such symptoms in the child. The moment you see such signs, it is an alarming sign then. Often a moment of self-introspection will reveal the fact that your verbal assault is the reason behind your child’s miseries.

It is a signal to change your attitude towards your kid and start showing some affection and kind words than verbal aggression. Some children are found to be indulged in self destructive activities and that’s a very serious issue. Delayed development of child occurs when faced with verbal aggression. These children tend to fall in every aspect in their lives. It is a long term affect so parents must be very careful what they are doing with their tongue. Parents need to be more sensitive and use better skills to handle their frustration and understand child.

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Kids often react to the situation available. Panic is often noted during a fracture, bleeding or choking. This is a natural reaction but parents must remain calm at all times. Help is certainly available with experts and friends can be located by a simple call. My daughter recently had a fall in her skating class and though I was dazed I kept reassuring my child that I am going to take care of her. She stopped crying despite the pain and I rushed to nearest orthopedic.

Patience is also a virtue as we wait for the doctors amidst the long queue of emergencies. Assure the child and comfort him or her with lots of love. Air your problems freely with the doctor and co operate at every instance. Only if you are not convinced with the doctor’s suggestion must you go in for a second opinion as timely action is warranted.

Kids have unpredictable behavior and suddenly get into outbursts. Explain to them in simple terms about their restrictions and precautions. Keeping a watchful eye over them is absolutely essential. Medicines and allergies have to be communicated to the doctor and the dosages must be given at proper intervals.

Diet and sleep certainly aid healing. Make sure to give the child lot of fresh air, a happy atmosphere and take them to outings so that they maintain their social interaction. Nothing lasts for ever and this is also a part of growth.

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With children in the house, you are going to come across situations like sibling competition, disagreements and envy, so instead of adding on to these tribulations, parents should appreciate their children for what they are.

Every child is special in their own way. Like all the fingers of your hand aren’t the same size, all the children in your house can’t have the same characteristics. But each one is unique and must be treated so by their parents. If you compare them, they will start seeing those comparisons as the bad in them and will lose all their confidence.

Every parent should be extremely careful while addressing their children. Sometimes, even while complimenting them you should be cautious. For example, if you say that one is sweet but the other is smart, the former will hear that she’s not smart and the latter will assume that she’s not sweet.

Every child is entitled to his own identity and we as parents should help them shape it. By comparing children, they will only build a sense of hatred for themselves and will start ostracizing them from the outside world.

Make children love themselves, by identifying their personal attributes and by appreciating them individually. Love them for what they are and let them know how important they are to you. Avoid comparing them with each other and instead help them strengthen their limitations with love, care and sensitivity.

So now it’s time for you to cherish and admire your little ones and feel fortunate to have them in your life!

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Child abuse has long term effects on children. Some of the common effects found are nervousness, depression, fear, pale face, poor communication skills, low on confidence etc. What is more socking to know is that, in India, the abuse happens in the family itself. Hence make sure that as parents one takes the necessary precautions that include: not letting your child be with any relative until you really trust that person. Introduce the concept of child abuse to your kid and warn him to inform you if anything is suspicious. Many children go to play with other kids in the building compound. Ask your child not to leave the compound premises without your permission. Do not be overly trustful on the watchmen.

Institutes like Childline (1098) are striving to heal abused children. It offers counseling and other therapies so that children can lead a normal lifestyle ahead. The healing process may be long but it is surely worth it

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Causes of child abuse: – Poverty, want, lack of education and awareness, divorce, mental illness, personality defects, drug and alcohol addiction, parental disability and a history of family abuse are all cited as reasons of child neglect and child abuse, world over.

Effects of child abuse: – Abused children can get very disturbed, develop suicidal tendencies, take to alcohol, drugs, violence and go haywire. Child abuse has multiple effects at various levels on the individual and society. The consequences of child abuse can extend to adulthood and affect various relationships destroying many families and lives in the long run. Child abuse can translate into injury, bad health, cognitive problems even death in extreme cases, on the physical level. Its emotional effect is most visible in the form of depression, low self esteem, personality disorders, academic problems, anxiety, stress and eating disorders. The abused usually take to abuse themselves, at a later point of time, as a strategy of survival. The behavioral effects of child abuse are seen in the form of child delinquency, teen pregnancies, aggression, substance abuse, irrational anger and anti-social conduct.

Prevention of child abuse is said to be possible at three levels; primary, secondary and tertiary. Primary prevention involves community activities, which are meant to make an impact on families even before abuse and neglect is diagnosed. Parent’s education sessions, family support drives, and public awareness rallies are some services, which come under primary prevention of child abuse. Secondary prevention activities are targeted at families suffering from substance abuse, parents who have special needs children, high risk parents, teen parents and low income families. Families which come under tertiary prevention are those who have come out in the open about their need for intervention, with or without court help. Tertiary prevention is the same as treatment given away from family support.

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Many times, parents want their children to do as per what they say. However, children are often found to be playful and therefore do not adhere as per many of their parents orders. Thus, parents face a lot of difficulty in getting things done from their children.

There are some ways that parents think are good enough to get things done from children when things get out of control which however, are ways to become a bad parent.

“A child doesn’t listen, shout at them”. – Nah, This is really a way of saying that creating noise to get things done is okay. As your child will grow, it will raise his/her voice against you as you do to them now. Remember, your child thinks whatever you do in whichever way is good and they will absorb whatever you tell them during their childhood.

“My child is notoriously naughty and the only way to calm him down is to smack him/her”. – Nah, A child has to be naughty and if you can’t bear your child’s naughtiness, the problem is not with the child but it’s with you as a responsible person. A child’s natural being is to be naughty and funny as much as they can be. If you can’t bear your child’s naughtiness, that’s your problem. Don’t smack him/her to let them know it’s okay to smack people when people dont behave properly with them. You are encouraging your children to hit other people and your child might behave worse after you’ve smacked them. In the short term, the picture might look clean but for the long term, you are instilling fear rather than bravery within your child.

If things are getting out-of-control while managing a child, you must write all your worries in a diary or a piece of paper and give your self some time to ponder over the issues. Discussing your issues with your spouse can also help rather than just worrying about the problem and increasing your pain/fear, etc. Shouting or hitting at them under any circumstances does not resolve your situation, do they? Most often they make it worse and create a distance between a parent and child, now isn’t that true?

It’s time that you realize that sometimes its good to be naughty with your child so that your child thinks of you as a really good parent. Maybe a small pillow fight would help or a game of hide and seek will do you a favor every now and then! Be A Good Parent Today! Happy Parenting!

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Bad signs:

• Avoiding/Ignoring/Neglecting your child – This leads to the child feeling very low of themselves and may lead to loneliness in them.

 

• Physical abuse.

 

• Mental/Verbal abuse.

 

• Complaining to others about your children.

 

• Complaining to your children about anything in the world or even about them.

 

• Criticizing them.

 

• Comparing children with other children.

 

• Forcing them to work according to your choices.

 

• Being demanding.

 

• Fighting with your spouse/other people in front of your children.

 

• Condemning them.

 

• Bickering/shouting/screaming in front of them.

 

• Mis-understanding /Mis-communicating/ Mis-interpreting/ Mis-representing their thoughts, words and deeds.

 

• Worrying too much about your children.

 

• Not keeping faith in your belief that your child can achieve whatever he/she wants to.

 

• Not motivating your child.

 

• Not talking with them or hugging them.

 

• Restricting their thoughts/action/feelings to a certain limit.

 

• Punishing them often or throwing anger on them.

 

• Not looking after their daily life – habits/thinking/feelings/actions/choices/decisions.

 

• Most importantly, demoralizing and de-motivating them.

Punishment is required when a child does something very ridiculous but it is not the option at most times. Children get worse when they are extensively punished for even small matters or matters not worth it. Punishment is just to teach them a lesson that they must behave “consciously” and “intelligently” with a conscientious will before doing anything in life. Once they have learned that lesson, you wont have even worry about them.

Please add pointers below this posts so that we can expand the list of bad parenting signs and traits that lead to devastation in the lives of our very sweet children. Happy Parenting!

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